caitlin&clementine

sandflies honey

2009-07-29T06:56:00.000-07:00

one of the last trips home from Rochester.

a fun postcard from Tasha.

Tommy and Oliver

Mummy.

Ok, so now I'm a graduated being I am also a struggling artist. I have been doing my internship with a great artist since the beginning of July but I'm on a wee break from that at the moment. But when that finishes for good, crikey. I do have plenty of things I want to do though. I think it's time for a list.

1) learn to make pastry. My grandmother was apparently an exquisite magic pastry maker so it would be interesting to see if I have inherited this gift. My memories of food tech at school don't serve me too well, but you never know.

2) TRAVEL. Oh god, I'm desperate to do this but at the moment health and money stand in the way.

3) organise some sort of studio/home set up... without the need for an extension.

4) redecorate/reorganise my room so it could possibly become half studio.

5) have a gallery day every fortnight

6) find some kind of artist/photographic collective perhaps

7) research MA's (but not in a hurry to do this at the moment)

8) go to Devon because a) I want to see Jo again and b) I have an idea for a piece of work but it has to be made there

9) keep in contact with the lovely people from university

10) have an actual rest which leaves me rested

I'm glad I put pastry first.

2009-07-18T04:44:00.000-07:00

i have tried to deny it for quite a while but really, i must confess i am a complete and utter steam enthusiast. i blame my father. my childhood was a mixture of a lot of nice things mostly, and being dragged around the country to various steam railways and locomotive museums formed a large part of it. it's evidently rubbed off on me because any opportunity to see a steam train these day makes me very excited. it's like stepping back in time. i used to love how they'd puff their way out of the station, very gradually and it'd get faster and faster. the noise isn't really like anything else.

sadly trains are just the beginning. don't get me started on aviation.

ermm..

2009-06-25T05:26:00.000-07:00

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i launched my site properly - leahcarvell.com.

yay.

2009-06-14T08:08:00.000-07:00

so out of range opened the other evening. There were so many people, more than i think any of us imagined which was wonderful. feels a bit of an anticlimax now, not to mention ridiculous levels of exhaustion. i don't want it to end really, as I know then it'll all be completely over and that freaks me out a bit (ok, a lot).

i have some other photos on disposables i'll probably scan at some point. i enjoyed the process so much, despite the stress. we all worked so hard, i'm really proud of the show we've made together.

out of range

2009-06-01T14:49:00.000-07:00

OUT OF RANGE

woot.

2009-05-29T13:45:00.000-07:00

six miniature pianos

2009-05-12T14:44:00.000-07:00

soo, final few days. Oh goodness. It feels very weird actually, kind of nice but also a bit scary. I think I could get a bit upset if I let myself think about it too much. At least we have the exhibition to finish off with. I don't want it to end, I'd quite like another year really. I feel just in the swing of things.

everything is kind of finished now. I have a few boring things to finish up like publication folder then I'm ready to hand in on Friday at 4.00. It's gone so so fast, it's a bit ridiculous. feels like five minutes ago since I moved into halls and ate fish and chips with my mum and dad on the first night there and then used to sit with lovely jo and watch afterlife and the house of eliott. second year dragged so much, but this year has completely flown past. My oh my.

first sign of summer?

2009-05-03T07:24:00.000-07:00

can't believe it's all ending soon. it just feels like it's got going!
lots to do before then though.

2009-04-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

becca and tashy.

tashy and laura

------

I babysat the tiny boys for a little while earlier.
Tommy was very interested in my camera - I don't think he'd seen a film camera before as his dad always shoots digitally now and he kept asking why he couldn't see the photo on the back! Makes you realise how redundant film seriously is becoming!
Uni starts again on Monday, although I'm going in on Thursday and Friday to squeeze some more days in. Can't believe it'll all be over so soon. I also need to find some way of displaying my pianos. I thought plinths originally, but they might look a bit too museum-y. Also I'm not sure there would really be room for lots of them... I could suspend them from the ceiling but that would involve having to possibly drill into them or something and wouldn't be so easy to put up when the exhibition moves to London. The other idea I had was just to put them on white cardboard boxes. People will just have to understand that the boxes are irrelevant and purely there to put them on. They're far too small to sit on the floor... Hmmm... daddy suggested a table but I'm not quite sure that would look right, plus it'd have to be THE perfect table and I'm running out of time now to be honest. I did think once of sticking them on the wall but some of them are grand pianos so that would be a little tricky. Ohhhhh man, the more I think about it the more I freak out. A lot.

2009-04-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

i love sargent.

soo. things to do once graduated:

1. TRAVEL.
2. try a spoonful of weetabix
3. redecorate my room
4. learn to drive.
5. acquire a negative scanner
6. have a rest
7. stop panicking about state of health, prospect of nice husband, children and house etc.
8. learn to cook more than three things.

i'm sure i could find more than 8 things! that is quite depressing.

2009-04-14T05:50:00.001-07:00

i have the travelling bug at the moment. i keep thinking of places i want to go, and looking up flights even though i can't go anywhere until i've finished and it's so expensive! would be awfully nice though. i really hate flying, but at the same time i want to do more of it as it's such a sense of accomplishment when you get to the other end and you're somewhere new. it's fear at the same time though, fear of something different, somewhere you don't know.

i took my site down for a while. i don't know why really, just felt odd about it. somehow i prefer this whole blog thing. mainly because it takes out a lot of the work for you which i know is totally lazy of me but a) i'm exhausted at the moment and b) i have so much other stuff to be doing. i've always liked the diary approach anyway.

hmm.

2009-04-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

ooh, am a little stressed. I was fine, until I had a technical chat with the tutors today. they kind of mentioned things I'd conveniently forgotten, like loss of quality when you blow things up/have a multiscreen composite thing. argh. hmm so I may have to present a bit differently than I thought. which is alright I guess, only may potentially end up taking up lots of room which we don't really have, especially in London. wishing majorly i had just got prints. i like what i've done, i'm just having a bit of a heart attack about how exactly to present it when there are seemingly so many technical things against me along with lack of space.

at least i have my pianos. and my cutting from the newspaper. Just need to get the frame for that tomorrow and that's pretty much done. then over easter I can continue to panic about how to show my video.

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fun day yesterday though!

2009-04-06T02:27:00.001-07:00

norfolk and mama.

2009-03-30T03:59:00.001-07:00

look at this thrilling postcard...

"isn't the new swimming pool nice?"
funny.

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lucypea.

work is going ok, hopefully. it's the installation bit that freaks me out rather than the actual shooting. i think it should be ok though, just hope i can be of some use physically rather than just sitting on the floor pointing to where things should go. i've seen people build little rooms before out of flats so it should be doable. it'd better be doable! well the more i sit and freak out over it the less it'll actually come to fruition. at least my lovely mummy made two cakes yesterday. lemon drizzle AND banana. heavens, what choice.
also, it's my birthday on thursday, eep. xx

2009-03-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

2009-03-20T07:31:00.001-07:00

last summer i wrote in another journal about how i had been to see a play called the year of magical thinking with vanessa redgrave. the play was about the writer joan didion and the loss of both her husband and her daughter. it was a truly electrifying performance, and vanessa dressed in silver and white literally glowed on the stage. one line in particular stuck with me about how the events in the play may seem hard to comprehend but that they will happen to you. you don't know when, but they will. not even a year later, it's vanessa that it's happening to. i know they're celebrities, they really have nothing to do with my life, but, and i'm sure it sounds incredibly corny and ridiculous, when you've been to the theater and especially if it's had a profound effect on you, you feel like you've shared in that experience. somehow you have interacted with the actor, you feel like you know them. i'd seen vanessa redgrave twice before, and I had met her other daughter joely who was lovely and also seemed to glow. i don't know, natasha richardson dying has really got to me. it's so cruel when a life like that just ends in the most odd way. i know it's happening all over the world every minute, but i always find it hard when someone who you look up to, who seems so... solid.. it's inconceivable that they could just suddenly no longer be there. it's never right when a parent has to watch their child die. also, liam neeson is such a wonderful actor, and all i keep thinking about is that scene in love actually where he's at the funeral of his wife. he was just so heartbreaking to watch (even though I thought that film was dreadful - his scenes made it ok). i can't imagine what he must be feeling.

anyway. i must stop because i think i'm getting a bit over the top about it. but i just somehow kind of wanted to say that i am thinking of them. x

2009-03-10T04:21:00.000-07:00

"it has the same relationship to orchestral music as engraving does to painting: it multiplies it and makes it available to all; and if it does not reproduce its colours at least it reproduces its light and shade."

2009-03-05T05:56:00.000-08:00

oooh i have a cold and it's all gone to my chest and i feel yucky. humph.
hopefully i'm going to see the triennial at tate britain on sunday, health permitting. i really need to see some stuff, there's only so much you can get from books and the internet. i also want to see the annette messager at the hayward. damn there being so much good stuff on at the moment. why do I always get ill when there's so much amazing stuff to see? london is so amazingly tiring when you're poorly. OH WELL, all in good time. i hope i'm better before everything I want to see finishes. that happened with the warhol, I kept putting off going and then the bloody thing ended. most distressing.

my visual seems to have taken yet another turn in a slightly different direction. well, it's not too far removed... it's all about the same thing i think i've just finally found something that suits. they're always banging on about journeys, and i do feel like i've been on one. part of it involves miniature pianos. this is rather exciting. my tutor freaked out a bit because i've missed some weeks but I said that i was determined to finish this year and not interrupt and she basically said as long as I'm back within the next week or two it'll be alright. bit scary, but I think it's ok.

my new tutuesque skirt came yesterday but I've not been up to trying it on yet. it's so pretty though and not too emo which is always a good thing i think. ALSO, the other week my origin of species poster came, eep. I remember doing that stuff at school but have not been able to remember anything about it, so it's quite nice to be able to just consult my wall if i ever have a darwinian dilemma.

anyway. i found some old stuff as i've not really taken much new stuff over the last few months.

my mum's bedroom always ends up being a good photo place. the stuff i've always been happiest with has been taken in her room. it just has a lovely feel, and lovely light.

2009-02-24T04:38:00.000-08:00

I'm so jealous of their ruffles.

2009-02-19T08:28:00.001-08:00

i found out i'm officially allergic to lucy today. ugh. imagine if we had to actually evict her... too horrid. instead mother is just going to go insane with the hoover every two minutes.

2009-02-11T09:27:00.000-08:00

old.
I need some inspiration.

2009-02-08T05:52:00.000-08:00

These are from the summer, and because of all this ridiculous snow (pretty at first, rather annoying now!) I thought I'd attempt to spread a little sunshine. I used a lot of disposable cameras in the summer, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at how versatile they can actually be. Not all of these were actually, in fact... possibly none of them which makes this a bit redundant, but anyway! Yes. As long as you point them at interesting things I think they can be really good.

I'm going to Waitrose with my mama shortly. Will be exciting. I always end up coming out of there many £££'s poorer but they have such lovely things sometimes. The Easter chocolate selection I hear is quite stupendous.

x

2009-02-08T05:45:00.001-08:00

meep. photoshop is telling me my scratch disk is full. it is times like these I hate computers. and also, i have my assessment tomorrow so i'm rather nervous.

2009-02-04T14:27:00.000-08:00

I developed two films today from my Diana. It or I was obviously misbehaving/asleep at the time because some of them didn't come at all. I guess that's the risk you have to take with plastic. I've had some lovely stuff and some truly crap stuff so far.

Hmm, so... I thought I might post some current visual references for my major project.

Janet Cardiff & Georges Bures Miller

Tacita Dean

Sophie Calle

This was from some random film about Marilyn Monroe. I couldn't trace the filmmaker but basically it's just like snippets of her talking so she effectively narrates the whole thing. The way it's been edited together with music of the era and footage of her... it's really effective. Not quite sure how it relates to me at the moment, I just love it.

Mmm.

2009-01-29T09:20:00.000-08:00

(ignore the fact it's phil bloody collins playing the drums)
r.i.p john martyn. i can't think of another more wonderful musician. and so brilliantly odd.

things are quite dull here. still not particularly well but way better than i was. have eaten way too much chocolate. what else, what else...

my new phone arrived today as my old one just very randomly broke yesterday morning for no apparent reason! the new one isn't as pretty but has a really good camera so... it kind of looks a bit james bond actually. ooooer.

one of the things that reinforces the fact i have a highly boring life is is by how excited i get over the small things in life. such as these biscuits...

lookit. aren't they nice? they're BANANA flavoured which is quite amazing! well probably not actually, but one doesn't find banana biscuits terribly often.
i seem to have rather a biscuity thing going on at the moment...

I have absolutely nothing of interest to talk about.

2009-01-20T17:14:00.000-08:00

Old, old, old. Well, last year. Seems like a very very long time ago now actually. We went to scatter Nana Wales' ashes... in Wales obviously. I had forgotten how beautiful it was where she used to live. Once when I was little, we were there one Christmas and went for a walk round the hidden valley. I picked up a piece of frozen puddle and was so amazingly proud. But then amazingly upset as it gradually started to melt on the walk home. Another time we found a lamb wandering about in the lane and my mum had to carry it back to the farm. It's such a lovely place.

I've eaten wayyy too much chocolate recently... it's quite bad... but nice. Oh.
Could be time for some Kateness you know...

She gets in a DUSTBIN for goodness sake. Genius.

2009-01-16T10:54:00.001-08:00

These are from Norfolk. There's something iffy going on with my slr (apart from the wonky view finder) as everything came out a bit.. blah. Oh well, that can be nice sometimes I guess.

I have backache. It is horrid.

Stuff that's been going on recently...

I watched the Anne Frank thing on bbc1. I thought it was totally brilliant. I kind of thought at first do we need another version but I guess if it introduces it to another generation. The girl annoyed me to begin with because she was so awfully British but I was quite sad when it came to an end and I ended up thinking she was very good. The costumes were lovely too.

I have almost finished my dissertation. I fear it's all crap but I've quite enjoyed it really.

I have been quite ill. How dull. I have this bowel inflammation and it's causing pain in my joints and overwhelming tiredness to the point of being quite useless. It's very frustrating but there isn't a lot they can do except remove the rest of the bowel which is not practical at the moment. Anyway, I don't want to talk about illness because it's tedious.

All three of our clever chickens are laying eggs. Most exciting. Even Mabel has started and we thought it'd take ages because she was all little and seemed to develop slower than the other two. They're so funny, I'd never be without them already. Our cat hates them though, she's so jealous. I think she has a complex about her inability to be a productive and efficient pet. She makes up for it in Princessness however.

I went with my mum to buy a new kettle today (oh my god, what a thrilling life I do lead) and I got this really cute little fascinator from Topshop. It was only £3 as well... bargain. I want to take pictures of it but I look rubbish. Oh well.

2008-12-12T03:24:00.000-08:00

i find it so frustrating that my mum hardly ever lets me take any photographs of her. i always want to document things we do together like feeding the chickens and having coffee but whenever i suggest i might want to take a photo she gets panicky. i know people hate having their photo taken. i do quite a lot. but i don't know, it'd be nice to be able to just try a few times. i like this one as i caught her off guard whilst she was having a sort out.

i went to berlin last weekend to see an exhibition i'm writing about for my dissertation. it was so good to finally see the work in the flesh. i always felt a bit of a fraud writing about it because i hadn't seen it. i'd only ever been to germany for about an hour on the way to austria (enough time to drink that fizzy apple stuff though) so it was really nice to spend a bit of time there. i really truly hate flying because i have a phobia of sickness. i don't actually get travelsick. i just have a fear of it happening to other people around me, therefore it escalates out of control and i just sit there in a panic. i know i'm totally safe in the plane, i don't fear that at all although i do not enjoy it in the slightest. i was extra nervous because i got really poorly last time i went anywhere by plane and had to fly home in an emergency. but it was fine. it was good to go somewhere, to restore the confidence i'd lost over travel and my health. going with daddy was nice as well as a few years ago that would never ever have happened. so all in all it was lovely. i ate far too much nutella though.

i am beginning to feel really run down now. i've sort of felt it coming for the last few weeks but i think the pressure of this year and then travelling has propelled me into this zombie state. i seem to have a permanent headache and those floatery things in my eyes and i don't really feel like talking to people much which depresses me. still i know it's only a phase and hopefully over christmas i'll somehow reenergise.