Friday, 12 December 2008

i find it so frustrating that my mum hardly ever lets me take any photographs of her. i always want to document things we do together like feeding the chickens and having coffee but whenever i suggest i might want to take a photo she gets panicky. i know people hate having their photo taken. i do quite a lot. but i don't know, it'd be nice to be able to just try a few times. i like this one as i caught her off guard whilst she was having a sort out.

i went to berlin last weekend to see an exhibition i'm writing about for my dissertation. it was so good to finally see the work in the flesh. i always felt a bit of a fraud writing about it because i hadn't seen it. i'd only ever been to germany for about an hour on the way to austria (enough time to drink that fizzy apple stuff though) so it was really nice to spend a bit of time there. i really truly hate flying because i have a phobia of sickness. i don't actually get travelsick. i just have a fear of it happening to other people around me, therefore it escalates out of control and i just sit there in a panic. i know i'm totally safe in the plane, i don't fear that at all although i do not enjoy it in the slightest. i was extra nervous because i got really poorly last time i went anywhere by plane and had to fly home in an emergency. but it was fine. it was good to go somewhere, to restore the confidence i'd lost over travel and my health. going with daddy was nice as well as a few years ago that would never ever have happened. so all in all it was lovely. i ate far too much nutella though.

i am beginning to feel really run down now. i've sort of felt it coming for the last few weeks but i think the pressure of this year and then travelling has propelled me into this zombie state. i seem to have a permanent headache and those floatery things in my eyes and i don't really feel like talking to people much which depresses me. still i know it's only a phase and hopefully over christmas i'll somehow reenergise.