caitlin&clementine

last summer i wrote in another journal about how i had been to see a play called the year of magical thinking with vanessa redgrave. the play was about the writer joan didion and the loss of both her husband and her daughter. it was a truly electrifying performance, and vanessa dressed in silver and white literally glowed on the stage. one line in particular stuck with me about how the events in the play may seem hard to comprehend but that they will happen to you. you don't know when, but they will. not even a year later, it's vanessa that it's happening to. i know they're celebrities, they really have nothing to do with my life, but, and i'm sure it sounds incredibly corny and ridiculous, when you've been to the theater and especially if it's had a profound effect on you, you feel like you've shared in that experience. somehow you have interacted with the actor, you feel like you know them. i'd seen vanessa redgrave twice before, and I had met her other daughter joely who was lovely and also seemed to glow. i don't know, natasha richardson dying has really got to me. it's so cruel when a life like that just ends in the most odd way. i know it's happening all over the world every minute, but i always find it hard when someone who you look up to, who seems so... solid.. it's inconceivable that they could just suddenly no longer be there. it's never right when a parent has to watch their child die. also, liam neeson is such a wonderful actor, and all i keep thinking about is that scene in love actually where he's at the funeral of his wife. he was just so heartbreaking to watch (even though I thought that film was dreadful - his scenes made it ok). i can't imagine what he must be feeling.

anyway. i must stop because i think i'm getting a bit over the top about it. but i just somehow kind of wanted to say that i am thinking of them. x